I’m really struggling with the idea of doing more ultras or organized events. This is not because I don’t enjoy them or the community, I love it, but the idea of training for a specific goal, one that I’m unsure that I can achieve is no longer so appealing to me.
I have one big event left on my calendar, Twisted Branch 100k. Between now and then I’m sweeping the Ontario Summit Trail Races (13.1 miles), I’m pacing Ben at Manitou’s Revenge (22 miles), and I’m running the Dam Good Trail Run (14 miles). I’m on board with all of these, but I can’t fathom 18 hours on the Bristol Hills Branch in an event with other people or the training it will take to accomplish it. I’m tired. I don’t feel like I have anything to prove to myself or others, I just want to enjoy time on the trails without the pressure that big events bring.
Currently I’m looking at ADK maps, High Peaks and Northville Placid Trail. I’m looking at the Finger Lakes Trail maps and the Bruce Trail maps (Ontario, CA) and I’m thinking about just hiking; day treks, weekend treks and maybe something a little longer. I just want to explore outdoors.
I am still down with the idea of moving faster than the traditional hiker and going light to ultralite, just because there seems to be more freedom involved and much more of connection and flow with the land. I just need to figure out how to make it happen logistically and temporally; I mean I still have a family and job and music and stuff.
Does this mean I’m giving up running? Absolutely not. I will run for fitness, for social reasons (group runs and such) and for mental / emotional balance, but I think the days of “racing” are over. Will I continue to support events? Yes, events that prove to be environmentally friendly. Will I periodically sign up for an event? Sure, but more likely I’ll volunteer to sweep, as the reason for being at the event is to experience the trail (here’s looking at you Breakneck).
So that’s it. I’m on the fence about Twisted Branch and that decision will ultimately be made later, but by in large I think my racing days are done… until they aren’t 😉