Dan Lopata

Live, Love, Listen

LISTEN, LOVE, LIVE, RANT

Let’s start with LIVE:
I cannot fathom the idea of taking another person’s life. Yet we see this happen on a daily basis, and if you are LBGTQ the chances of having a violent crime perpetrated against you up to and including murder is much higher than the general public. The Extraordinarily Common Violence Against LGBTQ People in America.
How can we let people LIVE? There is a common phrase and it is emphasized in 12-step groups, “Live and Let Live.” It is probably the most important message I learned when I attended 12-step meetings. Today I struggle with it because of the number of people and organizations who seem to ignore this principle, or change it to, “Live and Let Live, but only if you’re living exactly the lifestyle I believe you should live.”
LOVE:
I think people change that principle because they lack empathy, they lack love. Yes they will say they are only giving, “Tough Love” or that they only are trying to get people to change their ways out of “Love”. But I’m going to cry foul on this. How is it loving to not allow someone the same rights as you because you don’t accept their particular lifestyle even though it has ZERO effect on your life? Because that is essence what you have done when you vote in people who block legislation that affords equal rights to the LGBTQ Community… NOT SPECIAL RIGHTS; EQUAL RIGHTS – The same rights every cis gendered white male have in this country (Notice I singled out the most privileged group that systemically and socially have the most rights in this country). Giving someone else the same rights that you have is NOT taking your rights away.
LISTEN:
Please listen to me. By not granting the LGBTQ community equal rights in hiring, housing, benefits, etc. you put this entire community into a class that is less than. This idea that classes of people are less human than you is exactly what has enabled genocides from the Holocaust, to Pol Pot’s exterminations, to Serbia/Croatia, Armenia, The Kurds, etc. etc. etc. I mean, if these people aren’t human, then killing them is no worse than killing animals we consider scourges like the passenger pigeon.
Look, I know the argument, “But what about my strongly held Religious beliefs?” What about them? People who claim this as an excuse for discrimination, which is by its very nature dehumanization, are typically from a monotheistic, Abrahamic Religion. All of these religions prescribe a death sentence for people who don’t conform:
New Testament:
Romans 1:27-32 New International Version (NIV)
27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
28 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.
Old Testament/Torah:
Leviticus 20:30 (NIV)
“‘If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
Quran:
Quran (7:80-84) – “…For ye practice your lusts on men in preference to women: ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds…. And we rained down on them a shower (of brimstone)”
More Islam:
Abu Dawud (4462) – The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Whoever you find doing the action of the people of Loot, execute the one who does it and the one to whom it is done.”.

Abu Dawud (4448) – “If a man who is not married is seized committing sodomy, he will be stoned to death.” (Note the implicit approval of sodomizing one’s wife).

Bukhari (72:774) – “The Prophet cursed effeminate men (those men who are in the similitude (assume the manners of women) and those women who assume the manners of men, and he said, ‘Turn them out of your houses .’ The Prophet turned out such-and-such man, and ‘Umar turned out such-and-such woman.”

al-Tirmidhi, Sunan 1:152 – [Muhammad said] “Whoever is found conducting himself in the manner of the people of Lot, kill the doer and the receiver.

So do we allow people to kill homosexuals because the source documents of their “Strongly held beliefs” tell them to do so? I mean where is the line? And, is it so hard for you to see that any action you take against another class of people dehumanizes them? Upon review, it is not surprising at all that we see acts of violence against the LBGTQ community, we basically allow it and encourage it by giving legal shelter to the institutions that encourage, even proscribe it.
If we indeed believe what our Constitution says, that ‘All … are created equal’ Why do we write laws that allow some people to be more equal than others as Orwell said?
LISTEN again, I am not saying that you aren’t free to practice your religion, the First Amendment grants you that right. What I’m saying is that your rights end where someone else’s begin. No, even if your Religion says so, you do not have the right to discriminate against someone else in this country based on race, religion, gender, or gender identity, because at that point you have impeded on someone else’s EQUAL rights. If you say that your religion allows it, then it is you who are asking for SPECIAL RIGHTS under our rule of law. Yes there is a separation of Church and State, but understand that it doesn’t mean your Religion, or any Religion is its own sovereign state within our country. The only Sovereign Nations within our borders, other than the U.S.A. belong to those we stole this nation from, Native Americans. It is high time we all understand this so we can allow ALL to
LIVE
LOVE
LISTEN

 

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Unsure

I’m really struggling with the idea of doing more ultras or organized events. This is not because I don’t enjoy them or the community, I love it, but the idea of training for a specific goal, one that I’m unsure that I can achieve is no longer so appealing to me.

I have one big event left on my calendar, Twisted Branch 100k. Between now and then I’m sweeping the Ontario Summit Trail Races (13.1 miles), I’m pacing Ben at Manitou’s Revenge (22 miles), and I’m running the Dam Good Trail Run (14 miles). I’m on board with all of these, but I can’t fathom 18 hours on the Bristol Hills Branch in an event with other people or the training it will take to accomplish it. I’m tired. I don’t feel like I have anything to prove to myself or others, I just want to enjoy time on the trails without the pressure that big events bring.

Currently I’m looking at ADK maps, High Peaks and Northville Placid Trail. I’m looking at the Finger Lakes Trail maps and the Bruce Trail maps (Ontario, CA) and I’m thinking about just hiking; day treks, weekend treks and maybe something a little longer. I just want to explore outdoors.

I am still down with the idea of moving faster than the traditional hiker and going light to ultralite, just because there seems to be more freedom involved and much more of connection and flow with the land. I just need to figure out how to make it happen logistically and temporally; I mean I still have a family and job and music and stuff.

Does this mean I’m giving up running? Absolutely not. I will run for fitness, for social reasons (group runs and such) and for mental / emotional balance, but I think the days of “racing” are over. Will I continue to support events? Yes, events that prove to be environmentally friendly. Will I periodically sign up for an event? Sure, but more likely I’ll volunteer to sweep, as the reason for being at the event is to experience the trail (here’s looking at you Breakneck).

So that’s it. I’m on the fence about Twisted Branch and that decision will ultimately be made later, but by in large I think my racing days are done… until they aren’t 😉

Finding Joy : an MMT100 Experience

 “Even in the mud and scum of things, something always, always sings.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

MMTAMY

A couple of weeks before MMT100 this year, Amy and I were in NOLA at a Duran Duran / Chic Concert. We had great, expensive floor seats because we really were excited to get into the whole experience. Sitting next to us were two girls who were stone-faced bored and on their phones through Chic. Not sure how you could do that because Chic was amazing, but maybe they were just there for Duran Duran; nope, stone-faced, bored and on their phones for the entire show. Another guy in front of us spent the whole show standing facing the opposite way from the stage with his arms crossed?????

If you’re not enjoying the experience, leave

Friday the 13th of May, Amy and I were attending the pre-race briefing of the Massanutten Mountain 100 foot race. Among all the usual banter about cut offs, course markings, trail conditions, aid stations, etc. Kevin Sayers the RD said something that stuck out. I will paraphrase:

There is no way you will finish the Massanutten Mountain 100 if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, so enjoy what you’re doing. If you find you’re not enjoying what you’re doing figure out what you can change about you in order to enjoy it. If you can’t do that, do yourself and the volunteers a favor and drop… there’s good food at the finish line.

14 years ago I attempted this silly footrace, young and cocky with a head full of ego I charged into the course and dropped at 83.2 miles because of injury. In the past few years, I got back on the horse to get my qualifications to attempt it again, knowing I had a bone to pick with the course, and I eventually lined up again last year. I dropped at 69 miles because I was out of shape. In both cases I went with something to prove, and while I did enjoy bits of it, my attitude got in the way.

This year was different…
(spoiler alert, I finished… shortest race report ever unless you decide to read on)

In preparation this year I edited a spreadsheet I made last year so I could just look at distance, elevation, and cutoff to each aid station. I packed changes of clothes and nutrition with very limited instructions to my amazing crew (Amy). I packed a drop bag for Veach Gap. So upon trying to drop off my drop bag, I was informed that Veach Gap wouldn’t have drop bags this year. With that news I came up with a possible game plan to pick up a bladder from Amy at the aid station before but it would be a game time decision. (Veach Gap is 9 miles from the next aid station which is 50 miles total and a ton of climb so hydration is critical). Then I just shrugged off the inconvenience of my very loose original game plan being changed.

Still, there were other negatives floating in my head. I had just received an email from someone I perform with letting me know that my intonation on my last gig was unacceptable. My knee-jerk reaction was, “I guess I need to give up music.” Music and running are my “go to” places, and my DNF’s last year combined with this news had my safe places shaken to their core.

3:00 AM comes early… yet I still woke up before the alarm. I put on my gear including shoes I knew would hurt and laughed about already breaking a sweat while taping my feet.

The proverbial gun went off at 4:00 and we headed up 600 ft in 4 miles on paved then dirt road. I remember who I got caught behind in the conga line the year before so I made a point to be ahead of her when we hit the single track this year. I edged her out right before the single track and then realized the person I just edged out wasn’t who I thought it was, she was waaaaaaay behind me. So out of breath and amused at my stupidity I started the climb up Short Mountain.

Midway up this 1200’ climb I stopped, stepped off the trail, and caught my breath. I let at least 20 people by me, some asking if I was OK. I just knew a reset button was needed to be pushed as I was only at mile 7, not even double digits, and my cardio was already out of whack, not fun. So I let my heart-rate drop, found a space between conga lines, and marched to the top. I remembered a glorious sunrise here last year as I crested, but it was still dark this year when I reached the top. Two miles down the ridge the sun came up, more beautiful than I remember from the year before and much further along the trail which let me know I was far ahead of last year’s start.

eating

Eating at Elizabeth Furnace (I actually liked it)

By in large, I kept to myself the entire race, only really talking to people at aid stations or the “on your left” or “please go by” statements passing my lips. Life has been hard and busy and full of interactions and issues with other people, I was really enjoying “me time” and I felt really settled mentally and emotionally as I rolled into Elizabeth Furnace (33.3 mi). It was during this section that I reflected on my family, and my kids. I was able to see clearly what a great place all of them are in and realize how much they have grown, especially emotionally. My oldest is finding her way in career and love, my next oldest applied for a great scholarship (she didn’t get it) and is really finding out what she is passionate about. My next oldest has computers and electronic dance music, and great friends and activities, and the youngest is in the best place of knowing their true self. I don’t like the word, but for lack of a better one I will used ‘blessed’. Maybe I’m just lucky, or maybe I had a hand in how they are turning out, it doesn’t matter, I am really happy with where they are at. I also started thinking about music, and what I needed to do to rectify my situation. I don’t need to quit, I just need to focus on some fundamentals again. This type of rhythmic meditation that puts things in perspective is one of the main reasons I run long and alone in the woods.

I should also mention that as the mind wanders during these runs, it becomes less and less about myself. Looking at the next ridge over I thought of my friend Jeff Young who had just started his through hike of the AT. I thought of my friend Laura Howard who is absolutely amazing at pointing out that I need to focus on positive thoughts and discard the lingering DNFs and musical mistakes I hang onto. I thought of Mike Valone who was out running a hard 52 K that day; a guy who moves at the back of the pack and tends to struggle late in races, but who’s joy for these events and the people in and around them is unmatched by anyone. It takes being alone for me to realize how well surrounded I am by good great people. The greatest of which was crewing me and who I would get to see at many aid stations.

Skipping ahead, I didn’t take the bladder before Veach gap, I ate lots of potatoes including lots of perogies Amy sent me on my way with, and I ate lots of Ramen (and even some fruit) I avoided sugars. I cruised into Habron Gap (54 mi) something like 2 hours ahead of my time last year. Got out much quicker and trudged up the next 1300’ climb to Camp Roosevelt.

Camp Roosevelt (63 mi) was where I was basically done the previous year. This year I was in and out without seeing Amy, who was parked conveniently where I finally saw the van on my way out and tapped on the window. I had a much needed clothing change for the upcoming night time run. With 5.8 miles until Gap Creek this section is up 1200’ down 1300’ in rocks and mud and is what I considered the worst section of the entire course. Last year it took me over 4 hours to complete and I missed the cutoff. This year, I danced over rocks utilizing my trekking poles, I savored the moment I felt a blister burst in my heel allowing the warm puss to slosh in my sock, and I was just amused at the stupidity of the section, of what I was doing and how I was feeling. Two hours later I was at Gap Creek drinking broth and getting ready to climb Kearns Mountain and attack its 3 mile rocky ridge.

Then I missed the turn…

1.5 miles of extra rolling fire road happened before I realized it (even though I ran this section back in March), so 1.5 miles back to the turn I went. I good 3 miles/45 minutes before I hit the big climb known as Jaw Bone. I wasn’t put off too much, I was just worried about Amy because she saw how well I was doing and this next aid station I would be coming in much later than expected. Regardless I just put one foot in front of the other because I knew I had put the worst section behind me already and got to the 2 mile downhill road section that let me run into the Visitor Center (78.1 mi).

Birdknob

“Trail” up Birdknob

Sunrise number two on Birdknob, 1000’ up from where I left the Visitor Center is a glorious thing. But it was getting colder, not warmer, so battling hypothermia I rolled into the next aid station that was featuring Knob Creek and Hennessy as the beverages of choice… so I ate more broth and trudged to the Picnic Area where I knew Amy was waiting. Two aid stations left!

Restroom

Broken at the Picnic Area

The picnic area was running low on supplies, I grabbed broth and then used the men’s room which was ridiculous itself as there were no locks and one roll of TP between the men’s and women’s room. This was the first time I sat since the start and would be the last until the finish. I was noticing that standing was harder than moving and I didn’t want to sit because I knew that it would be too easy to not get back up. Anyhow, this was a critical juncture, I knew how close I was (16 miles) but I knew it wasn’t a given. I wanted to be back at Gap Creek with 3 hours to spare for the last 6.9 miles. I wanted it, I was crying because I wanted it, I was hurting, I was sure I could get it, I wasn’t sure I could get it… I just had to keep moving. I still had Big Run to get over and one more time up Jaw Bone, but comforted myself that the hardest part was over after Camp Roosevelt…

WRONG

Big Run is a measly 1300’ climb. I remember doing it in March no problem…

Here’s the deal, in March, it was the first climb at mile two of a 26 mile run, now it was the tenth significant (900’+ ) climb and it was at mile 92. In March it had been bone dry with forest fire warnings. This time when I rounded the bend to the climb I was confronted with a  literal 1300’ ascent up a rocky stream with yellow flagging tape marking the way.

I stopped

I stared

I stared some more

A volunteer came by leaping from rock to rock and said, “yeah the water is running a little higher than it was when the leaders came through.” and then bounded away…

I stared some more…

I probably stared for 5 – 10 minutes

I was pissed, I was angry; this was the first real WTF moment I had during the entire event. I was outraged, I was demoralized.

Then I heard it:

“Enjoy what you’re doing. If you find you’re not enjoying what you’re doing figure out what you can change about you in order to enjoy it. If you can’t do that, do yourself and the volunteers a favor and drop… there’s good food at the finish line.”

This stream/waterfall suddenly looked absurd, it then looked silly, and then it just looked stupid, and if there is anything I excel at, it’s stupid. I laughed at myself, I knew I had signed up for this, it was my choice, if I wasn’t going to enjoy it, then why did I bother? 40 minutes later I was at the top.

This is where I won, this was my internal finish line, this was why I came.

I get to choose, not necessarily what is in front of me, but how I approach it. This is the a-ha moment, that some people get naturally but it takes 93 miles of a ridiculously hard ultra for me to get it. I can enjoy where I’m at, what I’m doing regardless of the circumstance, and that enjoyment makes everything easier (more enjoyable… go figure).

In the past week and half since this moment, I have trying to figure out how to apply this lesson to the rest of my life. Yes, it is much easier to choose joy, when you also chose the obstacle in front of you, like 103.7 miles and a 1300’ river climb at mile 92. But how do you choose joy when surrounded by things you didn’t choose; politics, religion, economic situations, other people… This is hard. What I’m finding out is that the situation and the people aren’t what I need to enjoy and be happy with, it’s me. I need to enjoy my positions when it comes to politics, the environment, the economy, and my job. I need to be secure that I’m good with where I’m at, inside and out. I don’t need to let other people and obstacles dictate my emotions or my joy, and it probably ticks them off if I’m joyful in the face of their conflict with me (that’s their problem, not mine, but I do love good Schadenfreude).

Gap Creek

Gap Creek

So there it is. I made it to Gap Creek with 2:50 to go 6.9 miles. Got up and down Jaw Bone, into camp and crossed the finish line at 35:37 that’s 23 minutes to spare.

The End

Finish

Could not have done this without her

BTW Girls at the Duran Duran show, you might better enjoy a Morrisey concert

Some stupid numbers I enjoy:

14 = my lucky number (my birthday) – How many years from my first attempt to my finish

123 = My bib number – 1 wasn’t enough, 2 wasn’t enough, but the 3rd time was the charm

10ish =the number of hours longer it took me to finish MMT 100 as opposed to Haliburton 100

2 – The number of buckles I have earned

“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”
~Rainer Maria Rilke

“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.”
~Bill Watterson

 

The Year in Review Part III (Family)

I don’t write much about my kids, and that is because I won’t infringe on their safety and privacy.

I love my wife and kids and we have adventures planned for 2016.

I’ll leave it at that.

 

The Year in Review Part II (Music)

2015 started the year off pretty great, working with Orange Sky, The Fools, and Genesee Johnny. I thought the mix was perfect, good people, good music, good times.

I fooled myself.

Orange Sky and I had a falling out and separated in quite an ungraceful way. Much had to do with my approach and attitude, but the whole process has left a deep wound and hurt from a place that is supposed to be “healing.” I have serious reservations about the larger organization, First Unitarian Church of Rochester, as a result of this divorce. 

I have edited the above, as my earlier words were still fueled by the anger and resentment that remain from this process. But more on Spiritual Matters in a later blog.

Fools

The Fools have been a blast. Mary Ellen Hayden’s voice is a force of nature, Mickey’s guitar is mindblowing, Ken’s rhythmic stylings are second to none, and Jack’s ears on the soundboard are impeccable. These guys are the real deal in classic rock, and it has been a privilege to share the stage with them. Not only that, but as people, they are sincere, honest, caring, fun, humorous, loving, sensible, etc. they are great people and great musicians, which is the magic formula I’ve been looking for in a band. Unfortunately, my playing has been adequate at best. The loud playing in small rooms through the years have taken a toll on my ears. I recently had them checked and as far as low frequencies are concerned I have suffered some hearing loss. With loud low frequencies bouncing around in tight spaces I have been losing pitch recognition in these scenarios and have found to my dismay that I would be playing a half-step off for periods of time without even recognizing it. This not only embarrasses me, but brings the entire band down. I am investing in custom earplugs to help remedy this situation and prevent further hearing loss, but am not as optimistic as I might have been when I was younger. We will see what happens next. Regardless, The Fools are setting up another incredible run next year so check them out whether or not I am playing with them.

The Genesee Johnny Trio is tremendous with Jenna (Jenna and the Hops) stepping back for a while, Aleks and I needed to shore up our Pultneyville Grill residency, so we employed Johnny. Playing string bass between these two guitar geniuses in a laid back low volume setting is magic. Just like The Fools, these guys are great people as well as great musicians. Aleks is the best, tastiest blues player in the northeast and Johnny’s slide technique and vocals harken to an era long past. The Pultneyville Grill will be reopening in March and you can find us there again, we would also like to play other rooms and settings so please talk us up to your favorite establishment.

hanna

Also on the trio front, Aleks and I also approached Hanna Klau, an amazing pianist and vocalist from Korea who does standards, blues, and original material, and we have been playing around town as well. (We will be playing Sticky Lips Henrietta from 7:30 – 10:00 New Year’s Eve). Look for Hanna to be releasing a CD soon. This trio combined with the Genesee Johnny trio plus Tim Brindouse on Harmonica and Tony Hiler on drums will make up a new band that rocks and swings the area. We already have a big date in July in Geneseo. Stay tuned.

Crab

Finally, other than one offs with bands like The Flexitarians, and subbing, I was invited to play bass in a pop trio called Crabapples. This is fronted by Jon Gary who is a bass player I have followed for years in a band called Woody Dodge, but he plays guitar and sings in this band. Also Brooks Langkans on drums and vocals is a child of the eighties who shares my pop-sensibilities and taste. Most of the songs we play are originals, and I would say they have a brit-pop feel, (think XTC, The Jam, Split Endz etc.). It’s really fun to play this music, although it is a departure from the blues, jazz and rock for me. It is teaching me (and I’m applying it to other bands) how to play much more within the tune. I tend to be a really busy player, thinking that adding more is adding more to the song… but really, adding less adds more in many, many cases. Love these guys, love this band, they even let me sing a Ramones tune live for a benefit concert. Keep your eyes open for this band as we start a new year of composing and recording.

2015 was year of learning, 2016 is shaping up to be another great year. I think I’m finally in that place where I’m playing the music I want to be playing with the people I want to be playing it with. It is no longer a job, it is a joy.

Looks like I will still be reviewing the year after the new year rolls in. But hey… whatever, you don’t have to read t if you don’t want to 🙂

Next up Part III

Family

The Year in Review Part I (Athletic Endeavors?)

It’s been an interesting year so I will break this up into a few blog posts (looks like 6 of them):

Part I : My physical body

I DNF’d all of my goal races. At Massannutten Mountain 100M I failed at 70 miles, and evidently did it with a smile on my face. At Twisted Branch 100K I failed at 59 miles, again with a smile on my face.

So clearly my attitude at the time of my DNF’s was good, probably because I wasn’t kidding myself that I was actually ready to complete either of them given the training I put in. But upon review I am quite unhappy with the effort I put forth, and the (non)results of my effort were on display at These events.

This brought me to the point of seriously considering if I was capable of doing these things (ultras) anymore. But, as I look back to 2014’s Cayuga Trails 50 and pics of the runs I did two years ago, I see that I do have that in me.

So what changed? Well, I started a new medication which I will delve into in a subsequent blog post, and I also made tons of excuses. So weight gain happened, cold weather and cry-babiness happened. Many gigs happened (next blog), kids, work, running my own business, etc. etc. etc.

All of that said, the year was not a complete loss. I did a number of sweeping jobs, including the last 25 miles of the last Virgil Crest Ultra. I ran Iron Master Challenge 50k with Amy and crewed her to her first 50 mile finish at Haliburton Forest (site of my only 100 mile finish). Also, Amy and I started a quest to hike the entire Bruce Trail in Ontario Canada. We finished the first 50 miles (82K) in the Niagara Region this past August on our anniversary and are heading up in January to knock out some of the Iroquois section on our meet-aversary. So there’s all of that. Not to mention I did complete the entire Bristol Hills Branch (54 miles) in one day (as part of Twisted Branch) which has been a goal for a few years

So this year… goals remain large, MMT 100 continues to be on the bucket list, and now I also have unfinished business at Twisted Branch. Along the way I hope to run Bull Run Run 50M for my 3rd time but with Amy this time. I plan on pacing the guy I train best with, Ben Murphy, at LOViT 100 M and Manitou’s Revenge this year. And, finally I am aiming to tackle a huge endeavor this coming fall, that will be revealed as plans and the reality of it take shape.

What needs to be different? I need some commitment to the process. My training cycle begins Dec 1st (Tomorrow). I’ve been training myself to wake early and get out because life is still going to happen. The only regular dedicated time I can count on is early mornings. The medication thing doesn’t look like it’s going to change soon, but I am looking to counter that weight gain with diet. Amy and I currently looking at some options. Along with those diet options, I’m going to get back into training my body to metabolize fats instead of relying on carbs, this means I’m looking at the Maffetone method of training. I’m working with a HR monitor and am going to train for the optimal cardio, weight loss, fats as fuel burning results I can. This requires a much slower pace, which will mean more time on feet. Don’t expect me to keep up with y’all at group runs anymore. Looks like sweeping remains my past-time, and not just for events anymore

Beyond that, Amy and I will continue with the Bruce Trail, maybe explore some High Peaks in the Adirondacks, Play on the Finger Lakes trail, maybe attempt the Saranac 6r Challenge with a couple of the kids. These are all just possibilities and some may or may not come to fruition this year. So long as we are sucking air and passing gas, we can continue these things in following years… the mountains aren’t going anywhere.

 

Next up… Music

 

The Usual Suspects / Old-Skool

I love Old-Skool races, the races without much swag, without much glamour, without big booming speakers, with maybe some Christmas lights, or Tiki Torches, or just a line drawn in the dirt by dragging your foot across to delineate the start and/or finish of the race. Maybe the finish line is made of wood, or propped up by ladders. These are usually the tell-tale signs of a race that would rather focus on what happens during the event then on attracting people who aren’t really into doing the event and are more into getting their swag and party gear. It’s also usually a tell-tale sign that the event is going to be tough, and not something that you’ll see your coworker in the next cubicle asking his/her drinking buddy to sign up for because it will be fun. The fact is, it will be fun, but probably not for them. The other thing about Old-Skool races is that you see the same faces at them; the usual suspects if you will.

Lineindirt

Twisted Branch 100K is a new race that meets the criteria of Old-Skool with the exception that you sign up online via ultrasignup (I only know of 4 events that are still snail mail only events, and few more that have a snail mail option). This race is so Old-Skool that most of the course markings were limited to the already blazed trees of the Bristol Hill Branch of the Finger Lakes Trail, Part of Main Finger Lakes Trail, and also the Triad Trail in Hammondsport. Old-Skool also means 100K really equals 105K, we usually put an “ish” at the end of distances related to these events to keep the griping from the road runners to a minimum. So on August 29th, 2015 at 5:00 AM the usual suspects lined bunched up behind a dirt-drawn line punctuated with a Christmas Tree Light Arch and took off from South Bristol by foot to attempt to make it to Hammondsport beach 105KM away by 11:00 PM.

Blaze

The usual suspects this year were neat for me. I’ve been running with a number of people who are relatively new to the ultra-trail scene, and they are great people. They embrace the trail, love the beauty of their surroundings, run for the right reasons (IMHO), but they are also young, fit, and fast. I think they only run with me to humor me, and so I can humor them with tales on old when you could show up at a 100 miler the day of the race and register 5 minutes before the start. Now you have to register 6 months out just to have a chance to get on a waiting list. Along with these new usual suspects, I saw some of the old usual suspects that were around back in the day. Christine R. and her husband/crew Joe from Ithaca, Dan K. and Joy V. from Oven Door Runners, and Barbara S. from Dryden who I remember passing me at 2002’s Massanutten Mountain 100 miler freaking out because she said she just saw a rattle snake. We had a nice chat and walked down memory lane prior to the start of this race. All of these people are SERIOUS ULTRA VETS. Spoiler alert… none of us finished!

You see, there was a time that finishing an ultramarathon wasn’t a given. There was a time when the races had terrain and time cutoffs that were stout, and no, you weren’t allowed to go on because of liability and the rules. It seems that lately road marathons have become the new half-marathon, and trail 50Ks have become the new marathon, and 50 milers are for marathoners looking for an extended hike after their 50Ks. Some of these races have cutoffs so lenient that I could walk them and finish. Now, I think there is a place for that, I think it is important to have events that cater both to the competitive and to the individual looking for a supported long run. I also think there need to be events that are true challenges, not for the faint of heart. It’s nice to see that Twisted Branch is one of those to add to my list.

I have two challenges l would like to complete: Massanutten Mountain 100 Mile Foot Race and Twisted Branch 100K. In my experience and opinion they are equally as demanding with technical footing at times, steep extended inclines and descents, and demanding cutoffs.

What can I say about my race? I was better trained and more fit for this than I was for MMT100, so I felt confident, but not overly so as I DNF’d MMT100 earlier this year. So I took off at an easy pace with Sean Storie and Rob Feissner. I’d say this kind of freaked me out as I never have run 3 miles with Rob before, but we were all stuck in a conga line on single track so everybody was running pretty much the same pace unless you were up front. When we got to our first road crossing I sent them ahead so I could set up my trekking poles knowing there was a decent climb into Camp Cutler. Unfortunately… or maybe fortunately one of my poles was jammed shut. So after about 5 minutes, and letting almost everyone in the field pass me, RD Scot Magee said he’d take my poles and try to fix them and get them to me later on the course. I didn’t see Scott again until my day was done. So I said “fortunately” because my originally race plan was to stand at the starting line for 5 minutes after the start, let everyone go and then run my own race. This is basically what happened at mile three, which was even better, because when I started catching people, they were spread out enough that I wasn’t fighting a conga line to pass them. I found my own rhythm, my own pace, and the people I train with weren’t around so I couldn’t get caught up in running their race.

conga

This is pretty much how the day went. I was living basically on Tail Wind alone which was working until Bud Valley (Mile 39) where I needed something solid in my stomach, because even though youncan get all your nutrients from liquid Tail Wind, you still get hungry after many hours on the trail. I played cat and mouse with Sean Storie a bit before Bud Valley where he picked up poles and his pacer/wife which put quite a bit of pep in his step. I will admit it was tough going at that aid station as heat, my weight, and my head/thoughts were getting to me, but the mantra “tired is not an injury” was going through my head and after grabbing a grilled cheese sandwich I marched forward.

Ultras, for me, ebb and flow. The Grilled Cheese helped me out of a funk, and at the top of another climb that grilled cheese moved the bowels. Taking a load off, or out if you will, lightened me up and I busted into the next aid station feeling better and ready to move.

For Picture Of Grilled Cheese Read Jeff Green’s Report

Up to this point, I had no idea of how close I was to cutoffs. What I do during long events is I set my Garmin to show me only the total ascent, which because of Garmin’s particulars is usually very wrong on the watch and therefore is a particularly meaningless number. The only reason I bring Garmin is so I can track it and look at the data later. So coming into this 46ish mile aid station I overheard someone saying that it was going to be tough to make the next cutoff. I had kind of suspected I was pushing it, but wasn’t sure. As I was leaving this aid station I said, “I heard it’s unlikely I’ll make the cutoff,” and Michael M. (Aid Station Vollie) said, “I don’t know, you’ve got 4 hours to get there.”

cutoffs
I’m not talking about those kinds of cutoffs

CRAP! Ultra math… it can be so disheartening. I knew the cutoff at Urbana was 12 miles away and I had 4 hours to get there. 3 miles an hour… 20 minute miles… I can run a 20K in 1:45… I’ve got a huge hill to climb and another stupid little hill that seems huge after that…. I’m not going to make it… Shut up and go!

math

I shut up and went. Got to the water cooler 4 miles later right before that huge climb, and probably spent a good 5 minutes just refilling and drinking and psyching myself up for the climb. I stopped at least 4 times during that climb before I finally forced myself to run the last quarter mile of climb to the big pond at the top. As I was circling the pond I saw an orange shirt out of the corner of my eye. Christine Reynolds had gotten a Cheesburger catered to her at the last aid station and found new life! It was the first I’d seen her all day, and she was coming up to pass me. We chatted, a bit and I let her go… er she dropped me like a used bag of chips.

chips

The wheels were offish at that point, but I slugged it out to the 54 mile aid station where I caught up with Chris again. Shots of tequila haven’t looked that good in over 20 years, but were exactly the threat I needed to see to get me out of there, basically pulling Christine with me. There was talk about how tight the cutoff was, and how I wanted to miss it but also didn’t want to miss it. I was tired, mentally, physically, emotionally. But somehow I kept finding ways to pick up my feet and run on runnable sections. The last descent into Urbana is gorgeous during the day, but we were in the dark, so I had the unfortunate knowledge the others didn’t; knowing that if anyone fell to left, they were going into a gorge. Regardless, I kept running. I finally got to Urbana where Amy/wife/crew was asking me if I was okay. I said I was fine, just tired. I actually felt good… at least good enough to tackle the last 6 miles, so I asked if I was done. I was told I missed the cutoff by a ½ hour. My day was done.

Guac

After sitting for a while, absorbing the fact that my day was done, Amy and I decided to not go to the finish (something I would normally do, but I don’t really want to see the finish of this race until I earn it). We decided to head to Mike W’s place where a number of the new usual suspects would be converging, drinking, and crashing. We had just enough time to shower and make guacamole before people started coming back from the finish line. To hear the stories of the finishers, the people who didn’t finish (I wasn’t the only one), the crews, the pacers, the volunteers, and the praise for the RD was amazing. These new usual suspects get it. It’s about the event, it’s about the participants, it’s about the volunteers, the families, the trails, the effort, the pushing of boundaries, the successes, the successes that didn’t see the finish… It’s about the community, and so much more. This is the type of event that builds character, and that strengthens the bonds of community. Running/trailrunning is usually seen as such a solo endeavor, but when it comes to these events, the really challenging events where finishing is far from guaranteed, trailrunning is anything but a solo event.

My deepest gratitude to Scott Magee who’s inaugural event (his first time ever being an RD) was world class. UTMB has designated this course as a 3 point race (they only go up to 4 points and a 100K getting 3 points is unheard of). The Old-Skool usual suspects are already getting their heads around next year’s event and hoping they win a coveted free entry from the pool of DNF’s (the odds aren’t great given the number of DNFs). They get it. This is an ultramarathon, the way ultramarathons were meant to be.

As I continue to move away from organized events (other than sweeping and volunteering) This one stays on my list, because it is the perfect event, designed for people who love to run long, love to challenge themselves, and love nature.

What Are You Made Of?

DNF

3 days out from my second DNF of the year for missing cut-off times at ultras, the question, “What are you made of?” has been running through my mind. Yet it is never a question that runs through my mind while I’m running ultras. I find this curious.

So let’s examine my more recent DNF’s. Last year in September I dropped from doing the Monster Marathon (Full) at the half-way mark, why, because I was tired and didn’t care. Later in October I rolled my ankle at 5 miles and DNF’d the Danby Down & Dirty 20K at the 10K mark, I wasn’t really into that race either. The problem in both of those cases was that my head was not in a place that gave respect to what it takes to complete those races and I quit mentally long before my body quit. I can even say this with regard to Danby because my lack of respect for the course resulted in not taking proper precautions and care of my foot placement; respect that should have been a given knowing this course very well.

This year I DNF’d Massanutten Mountain 100 miler just shy of 70 miles because I missed a cut-off. I was exhausted, couldn’t move fast, my feet were destroyed, and I wasn’t fit enough to go the distance in the time required. All that said, even though I questioned myself at times regarding whether I could go on, I did not leave the course until I was told I had to.

3 days ago, I missed the last aid station cut-off at Twisted Branch Trail Run 100K by just over a ½ hour. I was running into that station, trying to get there and move on. I had enough reserves in the bank to go the extra 6.5 miles but I did not have the time and I was pulled again. During this run I was questioning around the 40 mile mark whether I was capable of pulling off these harder races, and trying to decide whether I should continue attempting them, but I never stopped moving forward (except a few times on climbs to prevent my heart from bursting out of my chest). I think I even pulled one person out of the second to last aid station with me with the minimal/impossible hope of making the last cut-off. I deferred the decision about trying to attempt more of these things until I had some time away from this event.

Now that there has been some time, 3 days, and one recovery run, 3.25 miles, I see that my mind and body are both still working. That actually my mind is stronger now than it was last fall, because it didn’t question the idea of whether or not to move forward even though it was questioning other things. That my body is more durable than I thought, because in comparison to most other runners I know who attempted Twisted Branch I was one of two who actually put together a recovery run yesterday (that I saw) and the other one was the 2nd place finisher.

So last night, while talking to Amy about Haliburton Forest 50 Miler, her first attempt at a 50 coming up in two weeks, we got on the Haliburton board on Facebook and I agreed to pace a 4 time Badwater finisher through the night of the 100M race after crewing Amy for her 50. I am also sweeping the last 25 miles of the hardest 100 miler (Virgil Crest Ultras) in the Northeast US the following weekend. I think I have also determined that I will shoot for the Mendon 50K in November and take it seriously, unlike what I did with Monster and Danby last fall. Because:

right now, that is what I’m made of

These past two DNF’s on the hardest courses I have ever run, showed me a resilience I haven’t seen in myself in a while. It’s a trait I like. They have shown me a mental fortitude that has been lacking in areas and times of my life recently, and I can learn to apply that in other areas. They have shown me unconditional support from a community that celebrates what we do accomplish on a day and helps break down how to do it better the next time. I crave community even though I’m a loud introvert that tends to push people away. Interestingly enough, the inability to finish these last two events have shown me what I have working for me as opposed to what is working against me.

Do I know what I’m going to do next year? Will I attempt MMT100 or Twisted Branch again? I don’t know yet, What I do know is that I won’t shy away from long endurance treks that allow me to be outdoors and allow me to challenge my misconceptions about myself.

What do you have that’s working for you? What are you made of?

The Mountain Moves for No One

You don’t climb mountains without a team, you don’t climb mountains without being fit, you don’t climb mountains without being prepared and you don’t climb mountains without balancing the risks and rewards. And you never climb a mountain on accident – it has to be intentional

~ Mark Udall

mass trail

13 years ago, filled with piss and vinegar, running away from a failed marriage, behaving in unseemly ways that contradict my morals and ethics (which are socially, not religiously bound) I arrived at a mountain certain that I would finish a 103.7 mile footrace on it…

I failed.

Fast forward to May 16th-17th this year, I arrived at the same mountain, with the intention of finishing the 103.7 mile footrace on it. Spoiler alert, I made it just under 70 miles in 24 hours before being pulled from the course…

I succeeded.

Yes, I covered fewer miles this year. Yes, I didn’t achieve the intended outcome. Yes, I still don’t have a buckle from Massanutten Mountain 100 Miler. But I still succeeded.

On May 15th at 6:00 AM Amy and I headed to Massanutten Mountain for my return engagement with Virginia Happy Trails Running Club’s (VHTRC) premiere event. This return engagement was a long time in the making and made possible by a generous scholarship from #TrailsROC, the running club I belong to in Rochester. I don’t just mention #TrailsROC because it is my obligation to as a result of the scholarship, it is because this group and its members are indicative of the larger reason why I consider this outing a success.

Mountain

Yeah, that thing out there that looks like a race profile? That’s where I’m going to run!

Sunshine Road Trip

Amy was coming along because she wanted to crew for me. This alone is a new experience for me, I was nervous because I have never had a crew before, I have always just relied on aid stations and drop bags in the past. This change in behavior was going to be different, I was worried about feeling responsible for my crew, I was worried that Amy was going to take my gruffness the wrong way, I was worried about a change in routine. Some of this was founded and some not. It took some getting used to as I was expecting bottles to be handed to me right as I passed through the first aid station, but waited for them to be brought out of the cooler. Also, I ran right by where Amy had set up shop going into the Elizabeth Furnace aid station because it was before the aid station and I was concerned about getting to the aid station and having my number recorded so I had to walk about 50 yards back to Amy’s set up. And then there was the little dispute about a buff vs. a bandanna. All of that was minor… the actuality of the situation is that I have never had better care and attention through aid stations in my entire ultra career. Amy knows me, she knows when I’m feeling good, and when the wheels are off. She made sure that anything I needed or asked for was at the ready. She got me coffee, chicken broth, socks, shirts, shoes, bandannas, buffs, headlamps, batteries, pepperoni jerky, ginger root, ginger ale, tailwind, trekking poles, mountain dew, turkey sandwiches, pierogis, quesadillas, bacon, water, bag balm, chocolate covered espresso beans, and she made sure that officials knew I was on the course still when they thought everyone had come through……. Just amazing!

Crew

Some Crew tools and supplies

May 16th.

3 AM is an early wakeup call, but it happened, I threw on my #trailsROC shirt, my sleeves, my Northface Nearly Naked Long Haul shorts (which elicited some great comments later as I was pulling little bottles out of hidden pockets all over the place at an aid station), 2-Toms chafing solution (which doesn’t work well if you’re wearing cotton underwear… there’s a lesson learned) SmartWool Socks, NB MT110v2 shoes, Ultimate Directions AK Race Vest with bottles, and a buff. I headed down to the start to check in and they were cranking “Get up, Get on Up” James Brown J Hanging out I got to see fellow #trailsROC runner Yoshi and get his picture with me. The scene is surreal, you have a PVC pipe made start/finish line with a clock counting down to 4:00 AM and tons of people just leisurely sitting in seats under a tent. It wasn’t until 3 minutes of 4:00 that anyone got up to get near the start line, and then promptly at 4:00 AM Kevin Sayers says “go” in the most unassuming start for one of the most epic races ever. I have seen the cannon shot and start at Kona, I have seen the Boston and NYC marathon start, I have felt the immense power of the understated simple “go” at the MMT 100 mile footrace, and it is no less spectacular than any of those others.

Mass Start

OLD SKOOL

Yoshi

Me with the Super-Human Yoshi

Start

and… “go”

I don’t want to get into a play by play here, but I just want to mention that the first four miles of this race is a gentle uphill (600ft) of road. A guy I was running with quipped, “This is Bullshit!” which became quite the code for, “Yup, this is what I signed up for, let’s have fun with it.” Heard it while climbing Short Mountain, heard it while climbing Kern’s Mountain, heard it while descending into Elizabeth Furnace (Where I saw fellow #trailsROC runner and now VHTRC runner Angie K.), even said it while not being able to run the ridge at the top of the climb out of Elizabeth furnace. A bunch of us were having fun with this as we went along.

Angie

Angie K.

We also had a ton more in common, I wish I could count the number of times I heard people talk about that reason we were out there was to grapple with our demons. Not that I actually believe in demons, but I do have issues in my life and my psyche that I grapple with: alcoholism (in remission for 23 years), chronic depression, crippling self-doubt, and anxiety. These come out at the worst times, dealing with work, family, bands, household economics, marriage relationship, socially, politically, etc. One of the things about an ultra of this magnitude is that it is a tangible experience that reveals how wrong I am on so many counts when these “demons” rent space in my head. Part of the reason for this is that they show up during the event, and that happens usually at about 4.5 miles in a stretch of 9 miles without an aid station. What am I going to do? Sit down in the middle of the trail and cry/die because no one is going to lift me out? No, I put one foot in front of the other until I reach the next aid station. Usually around 6 or 7 miles in that stretch I realize that I continued to move forward even when I thought I couldn’t, and realize that my worry, self-doubt demon was just a false thought.

“Tired is not an injury”

Gap Creek

Gap Creek 4:00 AM 5/17. 24 hours and done.

While I had the intention of going the distance, I also realistically knew that it might not happen. I told Ron Herkeens Jr. before the race that the only way to get my off of the course was to pull me off, even if it meant crawling. Mile 54, Habron Gap Aid Station, I was greeted by a volunteer who asked how I was doing, and if I was okay (must have looked dazed after 4 miles of exposed road running from the last aid station (that had guacamole). I just looked at him said, “Yeah, I’m okay, tired is not an injury.” He laughed and said that was the best quote he had heard all day. I had beat the cut-off by about an hour at this point and was told to sit and fuel up for a while because the next climb, Kern’s Mountain, was 2.5 miles and 1300+ feet of climb. So I took some time, changed my shoes, socks and shirt, got a buff, ate some broth, got my trekking poles and set off. Kern’s is really tough, not just because it’s huge but because that four miles of road traversed before climbing it, affords a daunting view of the mountain to stare at. It’s breath taking, not just because of the beauty and anticipation/fear of the climb, but because breath is already gone from traversing 50 miles to this point. But tired is not an injury, and with numerous rest breaks I climbed this thing through the night and traversed this section to Camp Roosevelt with 15 minutes to spare before the cut-off. I didn’t dilly-dally, but I didn’t know that I had another 1000 ft of climb ahead of me, and a steep descent. I missed the next cut off at Gap Creek by 45 minutes, happy, grateful, sad, disappointed, proud, humbled, basically every emotion I own except one, the one that is my truest demon, the one that dogs my every step every day… Anger. There was no anger. THIS IS THE SUCCESS.

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.

~ Sir Edmund Hillary

What did me in? My feet which were blistered pretty badly and in pain with each step. I was exhausted, there was no gas left in my tank, even though I fueled and hydrated really well. Basically out of the quote at the beginning of this piece, I was not fit. I can blame all sorts of things for this: long cold winter, rolled ankle in October that never completely properly healed, job/family constraints, new medication… but those are just excuses, the real reason is that I didn’t devote enough time to my fitness. I am 20 lbs heavier than I was last year when I ran Cayuga Trails 50. I have not been paying any attention to diet, which I never do. I have rationalized all of my missed workouts away. But as Steve Prefontaine said, “A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.” I have myself to blame for not finishing.

But of my success the reality is because I have so many incredible people around me, my life is completely different than it was 13 years ago, I am not finished with this event by any stretch of the imagination, I did not quit.

Rock

My demon is not the DNF, nor the rock that goes with it, my demon was/is my anger that does not allow me to see the beauty. The voice that says I’m not fast enough, I’m not good enough, nobody likes me, I’m a second-rate bass player, I’m not an asset to ROCSPOT… this is the voice that obscures the vision that sees: the community of #trailsROC, and Oven Door Runners, the community of my Soul Matters group at First Unitarian, the community of ex-drunks and druggies that infiltrate all areas of my life (work, music, First U, running), the community of my family, my kids, my incredible ultra-babe wife, the community of like-minded scientists and activists in ROCSPOT. This is the voice that obscures the vision of the beauty of the trail, the vista at the top of the climb and during the climb, the ridiculous finds of neat notes buried in old books at Sibley Music Library, the thrill of being a part of helping Rochester out of energy poverty and hopefully economic poverty, the smile in my wife’s face, the achievements of my oldest, youngest and in-between children. For a moment, for 24 hours, this demon was slayed.

And that is the magic of the mountain. It doesn’t care, it is just going to stand in my way and everyone else’s way and knock us down until we find a way up and over in order to see that incredible vista of all the things surrounding us and supporting us.

I’ll be back. Will I finish? I hope so. Does it matter? Yes, but not as much as all of the things I find along the way, and hopefully give back.

I owe so much to this one:

ultrababe

ULTRABABE (Yeah, I’m with her!)

A few more pics, all pics are courtesy of Amy Lopata:

Yoshi run

YOSHI!

First Aid

Edinburg Gap 12.1 miles in

Elizabeth

Elizabeth Furnace about 50K into the race

Stats and splits can be found here at Strava.

Training Derailed – The Trail to MMT 100

Yeah, so two posts ago I mentioned, “training plans are basically suggestions.” To prove my point, I threw mine out the window this week. Last week I was on target, running my 6 miles on Tuesday, 5 on Wednesday, another 6 on Thursday then gearing up for 14 on Saturday. But, I got a sinus infection and a really nasty head cold. Combined with that, the kids had to be everyway, everywhere, everytime over the weekend and I had three gigs from Friday night through Saturday night. Thus my weekend long run plans were screwed.

Justifying my lack of getting out there I tallied up my time on feet playing gigs from Friday to Saturday and it totaled 10.5 hours, enough in my mind to equal the 20 miles I was supposed to cover from Saturday to Sunday.

Sunday I was laid up, Monday I was laid up, Tuesday I intended to go 14 trying to play catch up and I chickened out, but this morning I regrouped with the Wed AM trailsroc crew, and plugged in a nice and easy 5K.

So this is what happens frequently to me, I miss some time due to circumstances, I look at my plan and I formulate ways to play catch-up. This is a BAD idea. So I missed some mileage, does that make it necessary for me to get an injury? The next thing that happens is I take my idea for making up the mileage and say “I’m going to run 14 on Tuesday,” Tuesday rolls around, it’s raining and I’m scared that I don’t have the fitness level needed to go 14, and think “what if I hurt myself?” I then opt to watch TV and get another big fat 0 in the books (not even the 7 planned on my schedule). So I think, “Yes, Wed AM trailsroc crew is running from the start of the 0 SPF course, I’ll meet up with them and then when they turn at 1.5 miles I’ll run to the 7 mile turnaround and get my 14! This plan is AWESOME!”

Wednesday morning rolls around, and it’s 5 AM, and I think, “what am I, stupid?” But because I told Ben Murphy that I’d see him in the morning, I’m committed to at least showing up. So I go, get my 3.3 miles in (.8 miles short of 1500 miles for the year, so maybe I’ll go out later… I say knowingly that I won’t) and feel great. I realize that my fitness level (which is still at a low point) after 5 days off, has not really suffered, that I can plug some more miles in later today possibly and get my 7 in tomorrow then be ready for 16 on Saturday, and it’s all really okay that I didn’t get the miles in. I don’t need to make them up. I have over five and a half months to get ready for this event and this is no big deal. It would be a big deal if I continued to talk myself out of running by continuing to talk myself into some stupid plan to make up lost time. And, this is where the importance of groups, training partners and accountability come into play for me.

Sunrise

If it weren’t for trailsroc’s Wed AM crew and my word saying that I’d be there, I might have just slept in this morning and taken another goose egg for the day. But it’s these people that carry me when I can’t carry myself, and they do it because I have committed myself to them; to be there to lead or co-lead when Ben has another obligation, to share in the sunrises (when they come back, hopefully in three or so weeks), to review our races, and share in each other’s running and personal victories and failures. These are my people, and when I’m running with them it is less about training and more about community, and yet it IS ultimately about training, because they get me back on track.

I love long solo runs, I think I am an introvert with a vocal exterior that I use as a shield. But I also love group runs, as they remind me that I’m not the only one who enjoys long solo runs. There is a spirit amongst like-minded people, people whom I may not agree with politically, or musically, or religiously, but the like-minded love of the outdoors, of using our bodies to move through the environment and become part of it, and the sheer enjoyment of our surroundings pulls us together. Something about the base simplicity of foot against dirt levels the playing field and makes all of the other things of life insignificant. We are all just humans moving from point A to point B in the simplest, purest way, and that reduces us all to being nothing greater or less than being human.

I like it, and suspect you do too.

A big shout out to trailsROC for being the community that keeps me and many others moving with relentless forward progress.

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